Video

Nice Catch

10/12/11 08:30 AM

Smooth as silk. But how does the guy seated to the right of popcorn guy escape comment? That’s right there is some bad seriously bad hair.

Kevin's Korner: Joe Morgan...

09/19/11 09:00 AM

…just die already! Then again, it’s great to see that his career has been reduced to hosting chicken dances after being dumped from ESPN’s Sunday Night Baseball.

Sunday Morning WTF?! Manny's School of Mariachi

09/18/11 08:30 AM

Manny Padilla, owner of Manny’s School of Mariachi and Mariachi Uniform Emporium (at 12 Mal Accidente Road in Santa Lechuga), should really reconsider the commitments he’s made, especially when those commitments include asking his teacher’s assistant Ernesto to herd his students to Santa Lechuga’s public access channel, KBBG, to play this drivel. This train wreck of a performance just makes everybody look bad, but especially the kids, who would look more comfortable if rabid ferrets were in their pants. Speaking of which, the rabid ferrets would sound better if they were playing the instruments. Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, Manny?!? At least give the kids another year of practice before your inflict them on the community!

Little Mary = Dolphins Defense

09/13/11 08:27 AM

If the season my Pepino Monos are having can aptly be described in a music video as “kinda outta luck,” as discussed yesterday, then the game the Miami Dolphins defense had yesterday against Tom Brady is perfectly described by Little Mary in this home video:

"Kinda Outta Luck" By Lana Del Rey

09/12/11 08:37 AM

“Flat out of luck” perfectly defines the season my Pepino Mono’s had. Or, should I say, every season my Monos have had?

Sunday Morning WTF?! Bad Training Producers

08/21/11 08:36 AM

Today marks the beginning of my 48th rotation around the sun … and soon I will be the target audience for videos like this. Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!

Sunday Morning WTF?! Warning: Not Safe At All

08/14/11 09:12 AM

Joe Far-Below Average. Not safe for work. Not safe for firing neurons. Not safe for eyes. Not safe for humanity. Not safe to play on your computer without it wanting just up and stop working. Not safe for people who care about humanity … or even just for people who care about cinema.

Still haven’t figured out how this sort of stuff gets made.

Riddance Of The Good Variety

08/13/11 09:13 AM

Head cases like this are just dumb enough to leave $24 million out of the pockets of their heirs. What a knucklehead.

[Insert Any Person On Earth Here] Tribute

08/12/11 09:25 AM

Former SLPL owner Megan Pierce passed this video along, thinking we might get a blog post out of it. And she’s right. We love Ron Santo, especially after seeing his son’s documentary about him, and we’re glad to link to the Chicago Tribune’s tribute video (though we wish the Trib would allow you to embed the video).

The only issue with this video is that it would have been just as moving if they had used old-timey video and various sound clips of any person on Earth against this Van Morrison song. Seriously. Close your eyes while that song plays and try to imagine any person -- saint or serial murderer, jet-setting rich guy or fly-infested, stomach-distended poor girl in Africa, should-be Hall-of-Fame baseball player or actual Hopscotch Champion at Mt. Clarissa’s Elementary School -- and tell me it wouldn’t be just as emotional. I’m not saying. I’m just saying.

(Speaking of Ron Santo’s son, remind me to tell you the story about how I got into an argument with him after he premiered his film in St. Charles, IL. Only someone in the front office of the SLPL could get into an argument with a guy on the day he premiers his movie to rave reviews. I’m not saying. I’m just saying.)

We're Back

08/08/11 08:59 AM

We’re back. After a rousing, hot, wet, rocking three days, the SLPL blog is back in business until, well, the next time we decide to have a rousing, wet, rocking three days. My dogs are tired, my ears are still humming, and my shoes will undoubtedly squish for another week or so. But, damn. It was a fine time.

On the drive home last night, we had to agree that The Joy Formidable was one of our favorite new live bands. Damned impressive for a three-piece unit. It will be fun to see if their recorded stuff measures up.

The League's Going Dark for the Weekend

08/05/11 07:47 AM

Lollapalooza’s in Chicago this weekend, which means the SLPL blog won’t be even remotely aware of baseball, Santa Lechuga, tsunamis, or most anything else that’s happening in the world for three days. Thus, the SLPL Blog -- including standings and stats -- will be ignored until Monday. If you send trades, we’ll process them retroactively when we get back.

In the meantime, tip of the ballcap to ScootTucky Plow owner Scott “Scoot Bigs” Allen, who sent us the following NSFW video. It’s a thing of beauty. The narration is the video.

Michael Bolton's Winning Softball

08/04/11 07:38 AM

My life just became a lot less worth living.

MICHAEL BOLTON SOFTBALL	UCBcomedy.com

Watch more comedy videos from the twisted minds of the UCB Theatre at UCBcomedy.com

Hollywood Directors Should Take Note

08/03/11 08:39 AM

This commercial out of Thailand packs more into it in three minutes than the dreck known as summer blockbusters.

I Don't Get The Human Race Sometimes

08/02/11 08:41 AM

Really? We’re massaging dogs now?!

Sunday Morning WTF?! Disgusting Lowlife

07/31/11 06:36 AM

Heavy metallers don’t belong in the park. WTF?

Puke My Guts Up, Part 2

07/30/11 07:05 AM

For crap’s sake. We’re raising a nation of crybabies!

I'm Seeing This Everywhere ... And I Wanna Puke

07/29/11 09:54 AM

This makes me want to puke my guts up. Yo, Ian, this is the Grand Ol’ U, S of A! This is a capitalistic society! You get yours while others can suck it up and figure out how to get their own. Seriously, go move to a socialist country or something and get the hell out of my country. You’re giving all the stupid people -- like that crybaby kid who wasn’t smart enough to put his hat out like you did -- the idea that you will be rewarded if you fail. And those announcers make me want to grow new guts so I can vomit those up, too. These people make me sick.

Sunday Morning WTF?! Strange As Monkeys

07/24/11 09:59 AM

We’re like monkeys, or something like that. Except monkeys don’t make horrifying exercise videos. And they wouldn’t, even if they could find a way to operate the video equipment and perform in front of green screens. If monkeys could figure that out, I bet they would make interesting National Geographic-like documentaries about human kids in horrifying exercise videos. But maybe I’m a self-hating human who has grand hopes that other species will eventually evolve into something less horrifying than us … as evidenced by this video.

Kevin's Korner: This Used To Be A Family Show!

07/09/11 08:16 AM

So a guy grabs his girlfriend's breast at the Red Sox game which the cameras catch coming back from a commercial. Not a big deal, but the best part are the announcers, who have a hard time getting through the first batter of the inning without losing it.

Sunday Morning WTF?! Take The Phanatic Out!

06/26/11 07:58 AM

Tip of the ballcap to Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer for sending the following. Sure, Kevin only hates the Phanatic because he’s a Mets fan and hates all things Phillies related, but it’s a real hatred that is shared by many who are not even Mets fans. So, Major League Baseball players, WTF?! How come all of you aren’t trying to take this bastard out? And if you are all trying to take him out, WTF?! How come you haven’t been more successful?!

Kevin's Korner: Drunk Is The New Sober

06/09/11 08:51 AM

I can't tell exactly ... is this Pedregoso or Rube making his way home after a league meeting recently???

Sunday Morning WTF?! Oscar! Mike! Golf!

06/05/11 08:56 AM

One question: Who gave the Hawaiian CGI operator LSD?

One comment: NSFACCMLW, which stands for “Not Safe for Any Conceivable Context Much Less Work.”

One word of caution: Stay away from everything that happens after the three-minute mark. You don’t want to see it. Seriously. I’m not joking. Don’t watch after the three-minute mark.

One additional comment: I won’t sleep tonight. I watched after the three minute mark.

big beautiful virtual Wendy from wendy Vain on Vimeo.

About What You'd Expect From A Dodgers Fan

06/02/11 08:58 AM

This is what a Dodgers fan does to his Dodgers-fan daughter? It’s a good things she’s not a Giants fan, I suppose.

Tuneage To Kick Off A Tuesday-That-Feels-Like-Monday

05/31/11 08:24 AM

Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer has been a longtime friend and contributor to the SLPL blog, but he’s also been one of those dudes with whom we like to share new music. After posting OK Go!’s “WTF?” Sunday, Kevin reported that it was in instant purchase at his favorite locale for musical downloads ... then he shared this sweet little tune with us:

Though slower, parts of “Pumped Up Kicks” remind us of another fave Kevin turned us on to a few years ago, which is just pure ear candy:

Happy Tuesday-That-Feels-Like-Monday!

Sunday Morning WTF?! Literal, But Awesome

05/29/11 08:36 AM

Sure, it’s a little too literal for our weekly Sunday Morning WTF?!, but OK Go’s “WTF?” is still pretty bitchen. OK Go, I don’t know why I like your videos so damned much ... there’s just this thing about cha’.

Kevin's Korner: Mentos and Diet Coke, 10, 9, 8 ...

05/28/11 09:03 AM

Like me, you have probably seen your share of Mentos + Diet Coke videos over the past few years. However, this one is definitely SLPL worthy!

Rube Writes: SLPL Team Building

05/27/11 08:52 AM

In order to boost morale, the front office at SLPL yesterday staged a team-building exercise pitting the executive team (in white) against the office peons (in blue). The losers were sent to Los Angeles to run the Dodgers.

Kevin's Korner: In-N-Out Creepiness

05/23/11 07:56 AM

From what I have heard, In-N-Out burgers are beyond great and I am sure our California SLPL peeps can attest. However, this video is a bit creepy when you really think about it. Thirty seconds in, a patron exclaims “Thank you, Lord Jesus" for giving him the chance to finally devour an In-And-Out burger so close to his home ... and he isn't kidding. Finally, a woman who has the most intense emotions I have ever seen actually cries because she is a five minute drive away.

Sunday Morning WTF?! Let The Tribulations Begin

05/22/11 08:00 AM

They say the Rapture didn’t happen as predicted ... but no one seems to be able to locate Blaming Flips owner Vince Livernois, who as last seen on Rapture Saturday reading a magazine on his porch in Phoenix.

Whiskey! Tango! Foxtrot! Vince?! We Never Thought You Were That Holy!

If anyone has any information about the whereabouts of Vince Livernois, please contact the authorities. And tell him to put some clothes on.

Meanwhile, Detroit Tiger Blood owner Joe Kelley made a trade but asked: “Please only put this trade through if I make it through the Rapture. Thanks.” Joe, you out there? Did you survive the Rapture? Can we process this trade now? I mean, if you’re alive during the tribulations, you’re gonna want Bautista on your roster!

Speaking of tribulations, we always love having a reason to share the music of one of our favorite bands, the now-dufunct LCD Soundsystem. So, enjoy this to kick off your first full day of tribulations:

Don't Worry. It's Not The End Of The World

05/21/11 08:07 AM

It’s Rapture Saturday! ... and Harold Camping’s predictions will soon inevitably lead to a load of backpedaling. Here are some of our SLPL owners’s best comments related to the rapture:

”Rapture this weekend! If you are rapture-ready but haven't yet completed your will, you really should get it done today. Feel free to leave me everything; I promise to take care of it 'til the end of time.” ~Tony Livernois
”If you can't come up with a good rapture joke, don't worry. It’s not the end of the world.” ~Vince Livernois
”Idea for the upcoming raputre: 1. Gather rapture believing Christian friends. 2. Tie a 100 ft long rope to their foot. 3. Tie the other end to a stake in the ground. 4. Wait for the rapture. 5. Enjoy Christian Balloons.” ~Kevin Klinkhamer
”Kevin...I thought you were going to tie that rope to your own leg to surprise the heaven intake angel. But your ending ...WOW!” ~Suzie Rochellle
”And with the first overall pick of the 2011 Rapture Draft, Yahweh takes ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage. That's a solid pick, Hub.” ~Tony Livernois
”And you already know you are all going to hell. xoxo” ~Sue Klinkhamer
”I don't need Rev. Camping to tell me I'm in hell! (Yes, I am inEl Centro again!)” ~Suzie Rochellle
”Turns out, Rev. Camping simply had a rupture. Bad spleen.” ~Joe Livernois

Joe Kelley shares this photo and poses the question: “What to do on Rapture Day?”

Finally, I found this fun little video made by Some Grey Bloke that provides useful tips and hints for approaching the Rapture:

Enjoy the Rapture!

Sunday Morning WTF?! World's Worst Parents?

05/15/11 07:59 AM

Okay, maybe not the worst parents in the world, but damn, this video is cringe inducing. What, parents, you can’t afford real toys anymore? You gotta let your dog kill your girl’s playthings now? You can afford a video camera ... why not spend a few quarters at the fabric shop and create a nice little homemade doll or something? Sheesh.

And squirrels ... you know they’re just rats with cuter tails, right? That they’re disease-ridden rodents? That they would claw and chew at your thorax if they thought you were in their way of scoring a jar of Planter’s?

Hey, maybe next week you can get video of your sweet darling swimming around in a cesspool. Or maybe you can get video of her playing with used syringes behind the local methadone clinic. I feel like these parents might be trying to earn a special new category for the Darwin Awards whereby they remove their genes from the gene pool by first inadvertently killing their own children. The upside here is that they’ll have this nifty video to show at the award ceremony.

Whiskey? Tango? Foxtrot?, parents! I mean, seriously!

Sunday Morning WTF?! Mother's Day Scooter Dance

05/08/11 09:01 AM

Today’s Sunday Morning WTF?! comes to us from ScootTucky Plow owner Scott “Scoot” Allen, who said that it is a tradition in his country to celebrate Mother’s Day by dancing around a scooter. I didn’t believe him until I dug up this video on the Interwebs. (BTW, Scoot’s the one wearing jorts.)

Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! Seriously, Scoot, WTF?!

Anyway, everyone here at the SLPL Blog wishes all you mothers out there a great Mother’s Day!

Sunday Morning WTF?! Busted Moves, Bodies

05/01/11 08:44 AM

Commissioner Rube Furrow and the Boys get together for a little impromptu roadside dance. These guys are just one busted move a way from three cardiac arrests, two bent spleens, a dislocated shoulder, and a slew of hip and/or knee replacement surgeries.

Whiskey? Tango? Foxtrot? I mean, seriously!

Kevin's Korner: Blue Line or Ceremonial Blue Carpet?

04/23/11 08:58 AM

Editor’s Note: Kevin’s Korner is a semi-regular feature of the SLPL in which Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer shares with us gems he uncovers while browsing the Intertubes and also shares with us his thoughts about such gems.

You know how angry fans always say refs and umps need to get their eyes checked? Well, here is proof that they may be right:

Seriously! What the hell happened here? For those of you unfamiliar with hockey, there are TWO blue lines on the ice that play a vital role in the rules of the game. However, these two clowns couldn't seem to notice a blue ceremonial CARPET on the ice that is four times as wide as the blue lines on the ice!
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
Pay Already!

Sunday Morning WTF?! Bibs Aren't Just For Babies

04/17/11 08:39 AM

I don’t have any words because my jaw is on the floor. Where the SlobStopper can’t clean up my drool of horror.

Updated: Standings Not Yet Posted Today; Watch Video

04/09/11 09:03 AM

Our stats provider RotoWire ~~hasn’t yet~~ has now posted standings for games played through yesterday~~six ... we’ll keep our eyes on their site and update the standings as soon as they’re available~~. That means the standings are now up-to-date.

~~In the meantime,~~ While you’re here, check out this video of a gymnast throwing out a first pitch. It is about what you would expect when you ask a gymnast to throw out a first pitch.

Need A Post- To Be Post-Bender; Monos Need to Suck Less

04/05/11 08:31 AM

League Commissioner Rube Furrow is back on the bottle again, so we don’t know how long it will be before he releases his annual post-bender Message to the Ownership and State of the League address. I mean, he has to be post-bender before it can be considered a post-bender message, ya know?

Meanwhile, expanding a bit on yesterday’s message about how my Pepino Monos suck ...

League leader Julie Pankoke’s Bauer’s Bandits have more than tripled my points already in the Overall Standings. My Monos are 74 points behind Arugula Division leader Kyle Harmon’s SLO Town Trolley Dodgers. The Monos are in 28th place in the Hitting Standings. They’re in 46th place in the Pitching Standings. To reiterate: My Monos suck. The only way I’m going to win anything this year is if someone pulls a prank like this on me:

Sunday Morning WTF?! Keep It Cool Now Baby

04/03/11 06:42 AM

Rube’s dad, Stu Furrow.

SLPL Video Classic: SLPL Comes to Germany, Hitler Reacts

03/30/11 08:18 AM

Check out this SLPL Video Classic. (It will take a while to load ... give it a coupla minutes.)

Pay Already!

SLPL Video: Death Pools!

03/28/11 08:02 AM

Longtime owner Sue Klinkhamer checks in with Vice President of Something or Other Pedregoso Rios to talk about their inspiration for creating and running the Creepy Cardinals Pitcher Death Watch Pool, which is up to $800 this season. They also talk about the league’s other bit of ghoulishness, the Hall-of-Fame Death Pool. Longtime league owner Dan Klinkhamer also makes a cameo.

Pay Already!

SLPL Video: Payouts!

03/27/11 08:53 AM

Vice President of Stuff Pedregoso Rios and longtime owner Suzie Rochellle talk about the vast winnings you can scrape off the table of the Santa Lechuga Power League and discuss responsible ways to spend those vast winnings. They deftly avoid a” too soon" joke about Japan and Suzie talks about wanting to beat up Past-Champ David "Eddie" Edison for his Over-the-Line-like team name that Suzie thinks is truly over the line.

Pay Already!

SLPL Video: Trade Changes for 2011

03/26/11 09:02 AM

Vice President of Things Pedregoso Rios and past Overall Champ Vince Livernois talk about new trade rules taking effect for the 2011 season. Vince is consistently one of the most prolific trading owners in the league but his propensity to drop the deadweight from his roster got him into trouble last season. Bad for him but good for us since he proposed some trade changes that have led to the SLPL to offer free trades this season. Check out how in this video.

Pay Already!

SLPL Video: What's New In 2011

03/25/11 08:18 AM

Commissioner Rube Furrow and Vice President of Some Sort Pedregoso Rios describe what's new and different in the SLPL for 2011. Also includes outtakes (starting at 7:16) of Rube proposing a trade rule change for 2012, updating us on the lingering consequences of Espy Espinosa's firing, and singing about the best part of waking up.

Pay Already!

SLPL Video: How to Become An Owner

03/24/11 09:51 AM

Commissioner Rube Furrow and Apparent Vice President Pedregoso Rios talk about what you need to do to become an owner in the Santa Lechuga Power League.

Pay Already!

SLPL Video: All About the Santa Lechuga Power League

03/23/11 07:34 AM

Commissioner Rube Furrow and Vice President of Some Sort Pedregoso Rios welcome potential new owners and give an overview of the Santa Lechuga Power League, the best damn fantasy baseball league in the world (because we said it is). In the outtakes, which begin at 8:03, Rube talks in third person about Rube, then describes his inspiration for starting the league.

Tip of the ballcap to longtime owner Kevin Klinkhamer for inspiring Pedregoso’s bad-a** hat positioning. Word up!

Pay Already!

SLPL Video: Rube Fails Human Resources 101 Yet Again

03/22/11 08:22 AM

Commissioner Rube Furrow does what Rube Furrow does, which is to be inappropriate around women. The worst part for Rube is that the entire conversation with Martha was caught on video.

Pay Already!

SLPL Video: In A World Without Decent Fantasy Baseball...

03/19/11 09:02 AM

The 2011 Santa Lechuga Power League is here to fill the world's gaping vacuum known as decent fantasy baseball. If these knuckleheads could just sober up ...

Pay Already!

SLPL '11

The Best Damn Fantasy Baseball League in the World (Because We Said It Is!)

Nice Catch

Kevin's Korner: Joe Morgan...

Sunday Morning WTF?! Manny's School of Mariachi

Little Mary = Dolphins Defense

"Kinda Outta Luck" By Lana Del Rey

Sunday Morning WTF?! Bad Training Producers

Sunday Morning WTF?! Warning: Not Safe At All

Riddance Of The Good Variety

[Insert Any Person On Earth Here] Tribute

We're Back

The League's Going Dark for the Weekend

Michael Bolton's Winning Softball

Hollywood Directors Should Take Note

I Don't Get The Human Race Sometimes

Sunday Morning WTF?! Disgusting Lowlife

Puke My Guts Up, Part 2

I'm Seeing This Everywhere ... And I Wanna Puke

Sunday Morning WTF?! Strange As Monkeys

Kevin's Korner: This Used To Be A Family Show!

Sunday Morning WTF?! Take The Phanatic Out!

Kevin's Korner: Drunk Is The New Sober

Sunday Morning WTF?! Oscar! Mike! Golf!

About What You'd Expect From A Dodgers Fan

Tuneage To Kick Off A Tuesday-That-Feels-Like-Monday

Sunday Morning WTF?! Literal, But Awesome

Kevin's Korner: Mentos and Diet Coke, 10, 9, 8 ...

Rube Writes: SLPL Team Building

Kevin's Korner: In-N-Out Creepiness

Sunday Morning WTF?! Let The Tribulations Begin

Don't Worry. It's Not The End Of The World

Sunday Morning WTF?! World's Worst Parents?

Sunday Morning WTF?! Mother's Day Scooter Dance

Sunday Morning WTF?! Busted Moves, Bodies

Kevin's Korner: Blue Line or Ceremonial Blue Carpet?

Sunday Morning WTF?! Bibs Aren't Just For Babies

Updated: Standings Not Yet Posted Today; Watch Video

Need A Post- To Be Post-Bender; Monos Need to Suck Less

Sunday Morning WTF?! Keep It Cool Now Baby

SLPL Video Classic: SLPL Comes to Germany, Hitler Reacts

SLPL Video: Death Pools!

SLPL Video: Payouts!

SLPL Video: Trade Changes for 2011

SLPL Video: What's New In 2011

SLPL Video: How to Become An Owner

SLPL Video: All About the Santa Lechuga Power League

SLPL Video: Rube Fails Human Resources 101 Yet Again

SLPL Video: In A World Without Decent Fantasy Baseball...