Darn Kid! That'll Teach Ya'!
No need for commentary. Just watch it again and again and again.
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
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The Pot, It's A Growin'
One month of the season is in the books and we here at the Santa Lechuga Power League have a nice little chunk of change set aside for our eventual winners. With 90 total $5 trades -- 40 more than last season! -- the Pot is already up to $1,615, which is just $1,070 less than last year’s total Pot. Eight owners have already earned a free trade by making five trades. Two of our owners, with seven trades made, are just three trades away from earning two more free trades. This is an active ownership group ... and it does the honchos in the league offices proud to see so many folks taking this season so seriously.
As is our practice throughout the season, we have re-allocated some of the monies that would go to the Regular Season Champ and Overall Champ to the other champs. The winnings for Division Champs has jumped from $50 to $75. The winnings for all other champs has jumped from $75 to $100.
Heads up: Trades made today through the end of the All-Star Break will cost you $10.
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
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SLPL News Flash: $5 Trades End When Today's Games Start
It doesn't seem possible that a month of the season has already passed us, but here it is, the impending doom of the $5 trade. If you're still hanging on to Josh Hamilton, even though he's still gonna be out several weeks, now would be the last chance to offload that knucklehead and replace him for only $5 with a functioning member of an active roster. If you try to trade him or anyone else after the first pitch of the first game played today -- which will be at 12:35 pm Eastern -- the trade will cost you $10. Be sure to use the handy-dandy Trade Submittin' Form to let us know who you want to dump and who you want to add.
Why make a trade? Well, because you have Josh Hamilton. Or, because you regret having chosen the wrong player, as Pathetics owner Ray Jasutis did when he chose Francisco Liriano at the beginning of the season. ( "I made sure Liriano was on my team this time.” ) Or, because your team isn't living up to your team name as per Jeff Burns' Valley Bombers. ( "The bombers aren't bombing, need to add to the arsenal!" ) Or, because you just need to shake things up every now and again.
BTW, the honchos in the league offices are thrilled by the trade activity thus far. Eighty-two trades have already been made. That's 32 more than were made by this time last season. For you Pot watchers, there's already $1575 in the coffers, ready to be distributed to the league champs at the end of these season.
Good luck the rest of the season!
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
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Rube Furrow Speaks: Welcome to the SLPL Season
I’m late with my traditional “Welcome to the SLPL Season” message, and for that I apologize. Being both the mayor of Santa Lechuga and the commissioner of SLPL can be a challenge, especially at a time when the City of Santa Lechuga is under such financial stress.
As you’ve probably read by now, we had to fire City Manager/Police Chief/Public Works Administrator Espy Espinosa after The Los Angeles Times revealed he was earning an annual salary of $850,000 and the feds showed up at City Hall one morning and hauled him off to jail. Wow! Who knew?
Fortunately, I managed to elude an indictment after the criminal grand jury determined that “Rube Furrow has proven to be so stunningly uninformed about the operations of city government that we are unable to prove that he had any idea that (Espinosa) was robbing Santa Lechuga’s residents blind."
As you can imagine, Espy’s departure left a big void around City Hall. Because he drained city coffers, Santa Lechuga now has an all-volunteer staff. In the last week alone, I was called out to repair the sinkhole in front of Rosie’s Tavern & Hardware Store. I also had to deliver layoff notices to the 16 malcontent teachers at Santa Lechuga Elementary School. And, with Espy gone, I was summoned to investigate the high-profile murder of Horace Spitz, who appeared to have been bludgeoned with a hoe handle (or stabbed to death with sheep shears).
With the murder investigation stymied, I have a few minutes to welcome team ownership groups to another stellar year of SLPL. The season has a lot of promise, especially with our mix of eager new ownership groups and grizzled Santa Lechuga veterans. We are excited by the terrific team names (Brandon Olivarria's Kirby Puckett’s Good Eye, Kathy Livernois' Sons of Pitches, Dan Klinkhamer's This League Blows, Tucker Vasquez's 1 Bad Mother Tucker and Sue Klinkhamer's This is Gonna Get Uggla are particularly good, though David Adrian’s Team Name That Can’t Be Spoken in Polite Company is especially inspired.)
Also, less than a month into the season, Rube is gratified with two mind-boggling developments: 1). Owners have already made trades worth $330! and 2). Rube Furrow is leading the entire damn league, the first time that’s happened in Santa Lechuga hist… Oops. Gotta go. We just got a call at City Hall from someone reporting that the municipal sewage treatment plant broke down. Apparently those things don't run themselves. Who knew?
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
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Trades, Trades, Trades: Avoiding Administrative Control
Apparently trying to get a jump on the rest of league’s owners, who will no doubt be trying to make some good trades before the cost goes up to $10 pet trade on Thursday, six owners have made 13 trades over the past coupla days. Most active was Brian Thornburg, owner of the Carrboro T-Birds, who made four trades, noting “Wanna be competitive!” Dropping four players on a 15-man roster is a bold move, especially considering his T-Birds are in already in 6th place Overall and 2nd in the Swish Chard Division even with those four players on the team. But you gotta like Brian’s aggressive desire to improve.
Meanwhile, Nate Meyers, owner of the Hand Bananas, and Bart Martin, owner of Ham-n-Jam-n-Spamalot, both made two trades. Nate was mum on why he made his trades, but it’s likely that he wants to improve on being in 40th place Overall and 5th in the Swiss Chard. Bart, meanwhile, is in 24th Overall and 3rd in the Romaine Division. On making the trades, he came up with the “Official Line of the Season Thus Far” when he said, “I feel compelled to make these moves or SLPL may take administrative control of my team.”
Other teams making trades over the past couple days are:
- Speaking Frankly, Frank Sumrall
- Dongwhipped, Kevin Klinkhamer
- Valley Bombers, Jeff Burns
- Washington Bullets, Jim Cummings
- Full Circuits, Bill Cunning
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
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Moammar Camacho’s Take Over First
Several days ago we proclaimed Joe Livernois’ Moammar Camacho’s as a team to watch after they had moved into 4th place Overall. Today, the Camacho’s are in 1st, lead the Endive Division, are in 3rd place in Hitting, and are in 2nd in Pitching. We told you you should be watching the Camacho’s!
Several more teams to keep your eye on -- besides Julie Pankoke’s Bauer's Bandits, Joe Kelly’s Detroit Tiger Blood, and Brandon Olivarria’s Kirby Puckett's Good Eye, who have all been in first place at some point this season -- include Donald Fukui’s EatUrHrtOutLA (currently in 5th place), Brian Thornburg’s Carrboro T-Birds (6th place), Brian Martin’s Size Matters Not (7th place) and Susie Rochellle’s The Insiders (8th place).
To make your team one of the teams to watch, remember that $5 trades are still in effect but will go extinct with the first pitch of the first game played on this Thursday. Trades then up to $10. If you haven’t already done so, now would be a good time to drop the dead weight you picked at the beginning of the season and pick up some new hitting and pitching stars.
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
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Sunday Morning WTF?! Easter Is Here
Posted, without comment.
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
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Kevin's Korner: Blue Line or Ceremonial Blue Carpet?
Editor’s Note: Kevin’s Korner is a semi-regular feature of the SLPL in which Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer shares with us gems he uncovers while browsing the Intertubes and also shares with us his thoughts about such gems.
You know how angry fans always say refs and umps need to get their eyes checked? Well, here is proof that they may be right:
Seriously! What the hell happened here? For those of you unfamiliar with hockey, there are TWO blue lines on the ice that play a vital role in the rules of the game. However, these two clowns couldn't seem to notice a blue ceremonial CARPET on the ice that is four times as wide as the blue lines on the ice!
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
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Thank You, Josh Hamilton!
Props to Josh Hamilton for going on the disabled list and for generating so many trades this early in the season. Three-plus weeks into the season, 22 owners have dropped Hamilton from their rosters, adding $110 to The Pot. Combined with other trades made, a total of $225 in trades has been adding to The Pot, bringing the total to $1,390. Better than that, there are still six days left to make $5 trades. Trades go up to $10 on the first pitch of the first game played next Thursday, April 28.
Props also to The Team That Shall Not Be Named owner David Adrian, who becomes the first owner to earn a free trade after making five trades. Five more and he gets another two free trades.
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
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Teams To Watch: Camacho's, Spinach
Don’t look now, but league founder, longtime owner, and league Commissioner Rube Furrow’s alter-ego of Joe Livernois has moved his Moammar Camacho's into 4th place Overall. He leads the Endive Division, is in 8th place in Hitting, and is tied for 1st in Pitching. Meanwhile, longtime owner Jim Johnson has creeped his Bad Spinach into 5th place Overall, 2nd in the Radicchio Division, 5th in Hitting, and 23rd in Pitching.
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
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Oh, Snap! NFL Superstar Cries Like A Baby
Tip of the ballcap to league friend Missy, who shared this video with us along with this message: “I know this is the wrong sport, but otherwise perfect for your blog. Never have liked the dude, but of all the things to cry about! Geesch. I wonder if he cries over his own commercials. Sob, sniff, gasp, ‘It’s so touching, but they messed up my eye liner in that shot!’
” Oh, snap!
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
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Cummings' Bullets So Last Year
We have it on good authority that past-champ Jim Cummings, owner of the Washington Bullets, threw out all his typical pre-season research and just elected to use last season’s roster going into this season. Doesn’t seem to be hurting him much. Though he ended up in 14th place Overall last season, Jim’s Bullets are currently sitting in 3rd place Overall after making only a couple injury-related tweaks to his roster from last season. He currently leads the Romaine Division, is sitting in 6th place in Hitting, and is 2nd in Pitching.
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
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Real-Life Frogger!
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Sunday Morning WTF?! Bibs Aren't Just For Babies
04/17/11 08:39 AM Filed in: Sunday Morning Wiskey Tango Foxtrot| Video| Joe Morgan Die!| by Pedregoso Rios
I don’t have any words because my jaw is on the floor. Where the SlobStopper can’t clean up my drool of horror.
WTF, American Capitalists?! I Mean, Seriously, WTF?!
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
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Kelly Back In First; Eye Don't Know What To Say
Joe Kelly’s Detroit Tiger Blood is back in 1st in the Overall Standings as Brandon Olivarria’s Kirby Puckett's Good Eye dropped to 2nd after last night’s action. Only one point separates the two teams.
I don’t know if you caught yesterday’s update about Brandon’s team name karma, but now we’re getting a little spooked by SLPL leaders and eye injuries. Tip of the ballcap to Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer for pointing us to this photo of Joe, who recently posted the following to Facebook:
Is Brandon’s Team Name Karma Rubbing Off On Joe?
According to Joe, he ran into an elbow and had to get four stitches. It’s not as gaping as Brandon’s gash, but it still doesn’t look pleasant.
All this left-eye injury stuff has us wondering if perhaps Brandon’s eye karma is rubbing off on other league leaders. Just to be safe, Julie Pankoke, owner of Bauer’s Bandits and league leader for the first 13 days of the season, might want to consider picking up a pair of these.
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
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Kelly Drops to 2nd; Olivarria Now In 1st
That drama we were talking about yesterday? Yeah. That. After holding the top spot for a day, displacing Julie Pankoke’s Bauer’s Bandits, Joe Kelly’s Detroit Tiger Blood dipped to 2nd in the Overall Standings as Brandon Olivarria’s Kirby Puckett's Good Eye jumped to the top of the heap. Here’s how Brandon’s team is producing:
Kirby Puckett’s Good Eye has a pretty balanced team, today 1st in Hitting and 8th in Pitching, but Joe’s only a couple points back.
Meanwhile, I’m Winning owner Ian Hicks, via comments, points league owners to “the riveting three-headed race for the April Pitching Championship. Arguably the most important victory in all of SLPL.” Unfortunately for Ian, his dad Jim Hicks, owner of Not As Lazy As Ian, leapfrogged all three of the heads in that race to take over the top spot in the Pitching Standings after Cliff Lee threw 12 Ks last night. More drama!
UPDATED: On the day Brandon Olivarria took over the top spot (a.k.a., today), he posted the following Facebook profile picture, noting in comments “Bad hop ... Softball. I was playing third. Guy hit a shot. Couldn't even react.” It took 14 stitches to suture this sucker up:
Whose Good Eye? Karma, Anyone?
Not to wish it on anyone, especially such a bitchen and enthusiastic SLPL owner, but am I the only one who, considering Brandon’s team name, isn’t wondering if perhaps a little karma might be in play here?
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
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Julie Pankoke Drops to 2nd; Joe Kelly Takes Over Top Spot
Amidst even more trading spurned on by Josh Hamilton’s fractured small humerus bone, which isn’t funny at all, Julie Pankoke’s Bauer’s Bandits dropped to 2nd place in the Overall Standings after last night’s action as Joe Kelly’s Detroit Tiger Blood took over the top spot. Julie had been in first since the season began. Neither the Bandits nor the Tiger Blood suffered from Hamilton’s injury, and Julie still rules in Hitting while Joe is in 2nd, but Joe sits in 7th in Pitching while Julie is sitting in 24th and trails him by 22 points. Here is the breakdown of stats for both teams:
Two weeks into the season and already we have a little drama. What teams are going to hold on to Josh Hamilton even though he’s out for the next 6-to-8 weeks? Can Joe hold onto his lead or will Julie reclaim the top spot? What other teams might emerge to offer a challenge? And when will Commissioner Rube Furrow actually get off his butt and send the league his official post-bender Message to the Ownership and State of the League? Stay tuned!
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
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Hamilton Out For 6-8 Weeks; Owners Drop Him Fast
Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton fractured his small humerus bone yesterday, prompting six league owners to drop him like a bad smoking habit. Though six Santa Lechuga teams have already dropped Hamilton in an effort to avoid having a gaping hole in their rosters for six-to-eight weeks, 27 teams still have him on their rosters. Just saying.
If you want to drop Josh Hamilton or any other players from your team, use this form. Trades go into effect one day after they have been submitted.
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
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Imponderable
If my Cleveland Indians are 8-2, on an eight-game winning streak, in first place of the American League Central all by themselves, and have the second best record in baseball ... but ESPN was too busy covering the 5-4 Yankees and the hapless 2-8 Red Sox to even mention any of the above, are my Cleveland Indians even still in the Major Leagues?
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
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I Want This Tattoo
Sunday Morning WTF?! What Might Have Been
04/10/11 09:27 AM Filed in: League Info| Sunday Morning Wiskey Tango Foxtrot| Joe Morgan Die!| Tip of the Ballcap| by Pedregoso Rios
Tip of the ballcap to Detroit Tiger Blood owner Joe Kelly, who passed along this bit of news regarding a recent aeronautic incident that could have cost the lives of four St. Louis Cardinals pitchers all at once. WTF?! As Joe said, “I think this is some sort of sign or warning.” But it did get us here at the Santa Lechuga Power League, who run the only known Creepy Cardinals Pitcher Death Watch Pool, thinking about what might have been had that incident lead to the death of four pitchers in a single incident.
Our First Thoughts
WTF?! I mean, seriously, WTF?! This is a scenario we had simply never considered. In the past, Cardinals pitchers died one at a time, then the organization ghoulishly paraded the jersey of the most recently killed pitcher around the world until the deceased’s jersey logged more airtime on Fox Sports broadcasts than the actual baseball games they were covering. But if four pitchers went down at once? Schmoly! The Cardinals would have to hire a small army of people to carry four jerseys around to all the ballparks. Fox Sports would have to secure extra cameraman just to give each jersey all the coverage it deserved. Baskets of onions would have to be placed in the booth just to make sure Joe Buck generated the requisite number of tears during each game as the camera slowly panned across the four jerseys in between every pitch of the game. When Fox was covering a game that didn’t include the Cardinals (fat chance, that), it would need to keep breaking in to its current broadcast to give viewers an update on where the jerseys were and where they were hanging. Fox Sports St. Louis would have to create a Fox Sports St. Louis 2, a 24-hour station devoted to broadcasting weepy, maudlin memories of all deceased Cardinals pitchers, with special prime-time reports on the most recently deceased.
Our Second Thoughts
The implications on the SLPL are interesting and confusing to consider. Eighteen teams have one of those pitchers on their Death Watch Pool rosters. Given that all four pitchers would have died at the same time, and given that our rule language says the pot will be awarded to the owner “who identifies the next Creepy Cardinal pitcher to die,” we have to assume we would have to split the $800 across those four pitchers, meaning $200 per pitcher. So, four $200 payouts.
Four teams have Mitchell Boggs, which means that the Magic Number comes into play to break the tie. Since the date of hypothetical death was Thursday the 7th, the Magic Number is 7. Of those four Boggs teams, none had the Magic Number 7, so we have to look at the next closest Magic Number. Susie Rochellle, owner of The Insiders, has the Magic Number 13, the closest Magic Number. Since Susie has participated in the Death Pool in at least two consecutive seasons, she would win the entire $200.
Frank Sumrall’s Speaking Frankly would have won the pot for Ryan Franklin with the Magic Number 8, but since this is the first year his team has been in the league, he would only be eligible to win $100.
Of the five teams with Kyle Loshe, Kevin Klinkhamer’s Dongwhipped, with the Magic Number 5, would have won. By participating each season since the genesis of the Death Watch Pool in 2008, Kevin would have been eligible to win the full $200.
Finally, of the five Trever Miller teams, two -- Tucker Vasquez’s 1 Bad Mother Tucker and Ed Gross’ No Yanks Allowed -- had Magic Number 4, the closest to the date of death, which means they would both win $100.
Each of these teams would be available to collect the relevant “bumps,” though none would have qualified. The first potential bump, $50, has to do with the Magic Number matching the date of death. Since none of the winners had Magic Number 7, no bump.
The second bump, the $25 “Kile Bump,” has to do with the death occurring on the day of a scheduled start, before the game. Since this was presumably an off-day for the Cardinals, no bump.
The final bump, the $100 “You Lucky Sonuvabidge Bump,” has do to with dying on the field of play. Since this was an airplane incident, no bump there.
Our Final Thoughts
This has been an interesting thought experiment. Though I cringe in horror at the thought of four pitchers in their prime of their careers dying in an air disaster, the cringe-factor goes exponential when I think of how the Cardinals would endlessly parade those damn jerseys around and when I think about the potential gloopy and maudlin treatment of those deaths by Fox Sports. We are happy the air incident didn’t lead to the deaths of four pitchers, but we’re sickened by what might have been.
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
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Updated: Standings Not Yet Posted Today; Watch Video
Our stats provider RotoWire
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
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Jasutis Sets Off Trading Frenzy [UPDATED]
It was just a couple days ago that we celebrated Ray Jasutis, owner of The Pathetics, for breaking this season’s trading seal. Since then, four more owners have made
Kyle Harmon, owner of SLO Town Trolley Dodgers, had made two trades in two days.
Peggy Bocox, owner of Sox In Your Jox, has made one trade, noting as a reason to make the trade that “I was stupid to not include Lincecum in the first place. DOH!”
Aaron Pankoke, longtime owner of The Strokes, made a trade, saying “Can't believe I am making a trade this early. I guess I just want to contribute to the pot.”
And David Adrian, owner of The Team That Shall Not Be Named, made
We’re not sure what has brought on this spate early-season trading, but we’re certainly happy to see it. And we’re hoping that league owners are inspired by our rule change this season that rewards the first five paid trades with a free trade and the second five paid trades with two more free trades. Keep the trades coming in, guys!
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
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Harmon's SLO Town Trolley Dodgers Getting Greedy
Kyle Harmon, a league newcomer recruited by Kirby Puckett's Good Eye owner Brandon Oliverria, is getting a little big for his britches ... and just a little greedy. Kyle’s SLO Town Trolley Dodgers are in 12th place Overall and lead the Arugula Division. But that’s apparently not enough for Kyle, so he just made the second league trade of the season by dropping Andre Ethier (0 HRs, 5 Ks) and picking up Nelson Cruz (4 HRs, 5 Ks). Attaboy, Kyle ... that’s the way this game is played. Keep the pressure on the rest of the league.
Meanwhile, league owners should be aware the Rockies pitcher Ubaldo Jimenez (1 K, 2 HRs) has recently been placed on the 15-day DL with a thumb issue. In addition, Evan Longoria (0 HRs, 1 K), Mat Latos (0 K, 0 HRs) and Zack Greinke (0 Ks, 0 HRs) are also on the 15-day DL. Just sayin’.
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
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Jasutis' Pathetics Break Season's Trading Seal
Less than a week into the season, The Pathetics owner Ray Jasutis yesterday broke the “sanitized for your protection” seal on the season’s trading outhouse by dropping light-hitting Troy Tulowitzki (1 HR, 2 Ks) and picking up ball-crushing Nelson Cruz (4 HRs, 3 Ks). Ray, who last season finished in 5th place Overall and picked up a cool $125 for winning the Power-Hitting Pitchers Championship, is a prolific trader, though last season he didn’t make any of his seven trades until after the All-Star Break, when trades cost $15. We suspect Ray is intrigued by the season’s new trade rules, where owners get a free trade after making the first five trades and get two more free trades after making the second five trades. Or maybe he was just fed up with Tulowitzki’s production. Either way, the league appreciates Ray for breaking the seal.
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
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Need A Post- To Be Post-Bender; Monos Need to Suck Less
League Commissioner Rube Furrow is back on the bottle again, so we don’t know how long it will be before he releases his annual post-bender Message to the Ownership and State of the League address. I mean, he has to be post-bender before it can be considered a post-bender message, ya know?
Meanwhile, expanding a bit on yesterday’s message about how my Pepino Monos suck ...
League leader Julie Pankoke’s Bauer’s Bandits have more than tripled my points already in the Overall Standings. My Monos are 74 points behind Arugula Division leader Kyle Harmon’s SLO Town Trolley Dodgers. The Monos are in 28th place in the Hitting Standings. They’re in 46th place in the Pitching Standings. To reiterate: My Monos suck. The only way I’m going to win anything this year is if someone pulls a prank like this on me:
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
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Teams That Don't Suck
The first weekend of the season of the complete and my Pepino Monos, quickly becoming known as the league’s Chicago Cubs, once again suck. Ugh.
Anyway, one team that doesn’t suck is Julie Pankoke’s Bauer’s Bandits, who shared the Overall lead after the first day of the season and has held the spot solo since. She is also leading the Hitting standings. Other teams that don’t suck are Kyle Harmon’s SLO Town Trolley Dodgers, Richard “Pop” Livernois’ Guao Wee!, Frank Sumrall’s Speaking Frankly, Kim and Tom Diehl’s Batavia Hitmen, Brandon Olivarria’s Kirby Puckett's Good Eye, Aaron Pankoke’s The Strokes, and Joe Kelly’s Detroit Tiger Blood, who are all leading their respective divisions. Jody Lays’ Lousy Lays are in 34th Overall but are leading the Pitching standings. Interestingly, Kyle, Frank, the Diehls, and Jody are all league newcomers.
I know. I know. Not even a week has passed and we’re already giving props to the leaders. Don’t worry ... we won’t do this often. But when I woke up this morning, I had nothing to write about that didn’t pertain to drinking the hell out of a lot of different beers at Haymarket Pub & Brewery, which I did this weekend, so I decided to keep the focus on the league. Weird, I know, because in past years I would have focused exclusively on the selection of rip-roaring IPAs this new brewery makes (try the Peace Frog American IPA) or the exquisite foodstuffs (the sweet potato tater tots and The Riot pizza are to die for). Doubly weird because usually when my Monos suck I try to create as many diversions as I can so as to not remind others just how my Monos suck. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. Must assess situation.
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
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Sunday Morning WTF?! Keep It Cool Now Baby
04/03/11 06:42 AM Filed in: Sunday Morning Wiskey Tango Foxtrot| Video| Joe Morgan Die!| by Pedregoso Rios
Rube’s dad, Stu Furrow.
Seriously, Stu, WTF?!
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
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Runnin' Like A Top
Things here at the SLPL are already running like a top this season. Our mega-killer-spreadsheet-and-webpage-generator is working flawlessly. The stats and standings are posting without issue. And Commissioner Rube Furrow is said to be coming off his annual pre-season month-long bender right on time, which means owners will likely soon be receiving Rube’s annual post-bender Message to the Ownership and State of the League address. We don’t have enough grammarians, translators, or editors on staff to make sure it will be comprehensible, but if it’s anything like past addresses it should at least be entertaining in a “what-the-hell-is-he-try-to-say?” sort of way.
In the meantime, I’m taking a small break. I may or may not post standings tomorrow -- and I may or may not even get the first “Sunday Morning WTF?!” entry of the season posted. I need to decompress a little after getting this league up and running like a top, so I’m headed to Chicago for the weekend for a little R&R. Posting tomorrow’s standings and Sunday Morning WTF?! will be dependent on how thoroughly stuporous I get tonight. Check in anyway ... if I don’t have anything posted, you can spend your time at the site exploring all we have posted here already.
Welcome again one and all to the new season. Now go enjoy the weekend!
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
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And They're Off!
And just like that, we have converted from “hey, get your rosters in” to “hey, this here season has started”! And what a start it is. We have 48 teams again this year, which makes things mega-easy for us here in the front offices of the SLPL because we can just use last year’s spreadsheet to calculate our standings and stats. Which, by the way, are already posted. See what I mean? That easy.
Mega-props to longtime owner Paul Martin, owner of Cabbage Farmers, who recruited three new owners into the league and thereby earned $5 off his ownership fees and free $5 and $10 trades. Props also to Rube Furrow, Bill Cunning, Sue Klinkhamer, Brandon Oliverria, reigning Overall Champ Jim Klinkhamer and Kathy Livernois for also recruiting new owners. We loves us some fresh blood in the league.
Speaking of fresh blood, a huge shout out to our following new owners, who have taken the bold, brave, blind leap into this bizarro world we call “power league” fantasy baseball:
- Frank Sumrall, Speaking Frankly (8)
- Josh Livernois (ak.a., Joshua Livingroom), Hecka Rad Unicorns (17), John Escuaga's Frankenstein Mansion, Reno NV
- Jody Lay (a.k.a., Jody Raines), Lousy Lays (14), Comiskey Park in SouthSiderVille
- Brian Martin (a.k.a., Darth Beano), Size Matters Not (7), Angel Stadium of Anaheim
- Kyle Harmon (a.k.a., Cha Cha), SLO Town Trolley Dodgers (23), Mustang Stadium, San Luis Obispo, CA
- Kim and Tom Diehl, Batavia Hitman (25)
- Bart Martin (a.k.a., Hunky Davenport), Ham-n-Jam-n-Spamalot (28), Limey Park, Camelot (it's only a model)
- Jeff Burns, Valley Bombers (25)
- Chad Barnes (a.k.a., Bernie Williams), Ksuyankees (13), Yankee Stadium, Bronx, New York
Finally, an even huger shout out to all our returning owners. You all know what a dopey little league this is, you all know what sort of numbskulls run the league, and you know that our reference to “bizarro” above doesn’t begin to explain the half of it, and yet you returned. And we love you for it.
I hope everyone enjoys the season.
P.S. I posted the following to Facebook last night:
Consider this fair warning to everyone. I will not type the name of the team here ... I feel dirty just thinking about it. To find out what it is, scan the standings, Magic Numbers, or the rosters. When you see it, you won’t be able to un-see it. Then you’ll blanch. Here’s a hint: It has nothing to do with bananas or Kirby Puckett. Here’s another hint: Hand Bananas owner Nate Meyers’ response to my Facebook message is on the right track (though, admittedly, it’s not *that* bad).
Standings: At-A-Glance | Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
Pay Already!