Sunday Morning Wiskey Tango Foxtrot

Sunday Morning WTF?! Fractal Hand

11/06/11 08:55 AM

If I was one to ingest certain mind-altering substances that I shouldn’t ingest, I might find this incredibly fascinating. Instead, I’m creeped out to no end. To no end. To no end. To no end. To no end. To no end. To no end. To no end. To no end. To no end. To no end. To no end. To no end.

Sunday Morning WTF?! What's The Story

10/30/11 09:11 AM

Given that we will award the Hall-of-Fame Death Pool at the beginning of next season, the SLPL Blog will not shut down now that the 2011 postseason is over. Instead, we will post an update every now and then over the next five months. We will for sure update the blog if there are any quality HOF deaths. That’s a given. But we will also likely post up as things tickle our fancy, most likely for the fan favorite Sunday Morning Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! Like, for instance, today.

We stumbled across the following on Imgur under the title “There has GOT to be an amazing story behind this.” No kidding. The more you study this photo, the more Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! it becomes. The guy on the stretcher is interesting enough, but I especially like the Ooompa Loompa in the foreground and the hugging bunnies in the back. Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! Halloween party organizer? I mean, serious, WTF?!

Sunday Morning WTF?! Taking Over First

10/09/11 08:07 AM

With just one game of the League Championship Series in the books, Tres Caballeros owner Jim Klinkhamer has taken over first place in the Playoff standings and is now only 55 points behind Paul Martin’s Cabbage Farmers in the Overall standings. Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, Jim … if you keep this up, you’re going to take all the drama out of the playoffs.

Sunday Morning WTF?! No WTF?!

10/02/11 10:06 AM

I got no Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! today. Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, me!

Special Tuesday Morning WTF?! Lead Changes Again

09/27/11 09:11 AM

Joe Livernois’ Moammar Camacho's are now behind Paul Martin’s Cabbage Farmers by three points. With just two days left in the Regular Season. Here’s how Paul took back the top spot:

Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! league leaders, how is this gonna end?

Special Monday Morning WTF?! Six Points…The Other Way

09/26/11 08:37 AM

Joe Livernois’ Moammar Camacho's have now overtaken Paul Martin’s Cabbage Farmers. With just three days left in the Regular Season. Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! league leaders, can you make this more exciting?!

Sunday Morning WTF?! Seven Points...

09/25/11 10:49 AM

…is all the separates Joe Livernois’ Moammar Camacho's from Paul Martin’s Cabbage Farmers. With just four days left in the Regular Season. Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! league leaders, are you really going to take this down to the wire?!

Sunday Morning WTF?! Manny's School of Mariachi

09/18/11 08:30 AM

Manny Padilla, owner of Manny’s School of Mariachi and Mariachi Uniform Emporium (at 12 Mal Accidente Road in Santa Lechuga), should really reconsider the commitments he’s made, especially when those commitments include asking his teacher’s assistant Ernesto to herd his students to Santa Lechuga’s public access channel, KBBG, to play this drivel. This train wreck of a performance just makes everybody look bad, but especially the kids, who would look more comfortable if rabid ferrets were in their pants. Speaking of which, the rabid ferrets would sound better if they were playing the instruments. Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, Manny?!? At least give the kids another year of practice before your inflict them on the community!

Sunday Morning WTF?! "Fighting" Irish?!

09/11/11 09:03 AM

Did you even field a defense in the 4th quarter, “Fighting” Irish?! Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! Notre Dame?!

Special Monday Morning WTF?! $15 Trade Nearly Bye-Bye

08/29/11 07:43 AM

Yeah. We’re distracted. So much so that we forgot that the $15 trade was about to become a $20 trade. When it finally occurred to us this morning, we checked the MLB schedule and saw that the Regular Season ends on September 28th. Since the $20 trade is supposed to be in effect during the final month of the season, and since today is kinda, sorta in that final month, trades should now be $20. But because we goofed and failed to give our ownership group -- the single best group of fantasy baseball owners on this planet, because we said so -- any warning of the impending change in trade costs, we’re giving everyone a one-day reprieve starting today. If you want to make any last minute $15 trades, you have until the first pitch of the first game played tomorrow, August 30. So, getchyer $15 trades in because tomorrow trades go up to $20.

Hey SLPL Blog Peoples, Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!

Sunday Morning WTF?! Indians Fans!

08/28/11 09:23 AM

I’m a Cleveland Indians fan. Lifelong. Love my Tribe, without a doubt. But I’m also ambivalent about my fellow Indians fans. I loved them -- every single on of them -- when I went to my first Indians game in Cleveland, Game 5 of the 1995 World Series. I hugged and high-fived more fellow Tribe fans that night than I had ever even met before then. Then I detested my fellow fans for relentlessly booing Jim Thome -- that very same Jim Thome who was the hero of that very same Game 5 -- every time he stepped up to the plate as a non-Indian. While I’m jazzed that Thome is back with the Indians and will likely go into the Hall-of-Fame wearing a Tribe cap, I am a little peeved that my fellow fans are treating him like a hero again. I appreciate that they would have preferred that he stay with them instead of taking the massive Phillies contract, but damn, they really should have treated him better whenever he came back. Like the class dude he always was, I like how he appears to have forgotten how badly Indians fans booed him for nine straight years. So, Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! Indians fans! WTF?!

Sunday Morning WTF?! Bad Training Producers

08/21/11 08:36 AM

Today marks the beginning of my 48th rotation around the sun … and soon I will be the target audience for videos like this. Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!

Sunday Morning WTF?! Warning: Not Safe At All

08/14/11 09:12 AM

Joe Far-Below Average. Not safe for work. Not safe for firing neurons. Not safe for eyes. Not safe for humanity. Not safe to play on your computer without it wanting just up and stop working. Not safe for people who care about humanity … or even just for people who care about cinema.

Still haven’t figured out how this sort of stuff gets made.

Sunday Morning WTF?! Disgusting Lowlife

07/31/11 06:36 AM

Heavy metallers don’t belong in the park. WTF?

Sunday Morning WTF?! Strange As Monkeys

07/24/11 09:59 AM

We’re like monkeys, or something like that. Except monkeys don’t make horrifying exercise videos. And they wouldn’t, even if they could find a way to operate the video equipment and perform in front of green screens. If monkeys could figure that out, I bet they would make interesting National Geographic-like documentaries about human kids in horrifying exercise videos. But maybe I’m a self-hating human who has grand hopes that other species will eventually evolve into something less horrifying than us … as evidenced by this video.

Sunday Morning WTF?! Cheating At Limbo 101

07/10/11 08:56 AM

Note to limbo contest organizers: If you have a little person participating in your limbo contest, you really should lower the damn bar already.

Sunday Morning WTF?! Yo, Catch. Tag The Runner Already!

07/03/11 10:33 AM

When the ball arrives on time, catcher, you gotta actually tag the runner. That’s just the way the game is supposed to be played. Sheesh.

Sunday Morning WTF?! Take The Phanatic Out!

06/26/11 07:58 AM

Tip of the ballcap to Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer for sending the following. Sure, Kevin only hates the Phanatic because he’s a Mets fan and hates all things Phillies related, but it’s a real hatred that is shared by many who are not even Mets fans. So, Major League Baseball players, WTF?! How come all of you aren’t trying to take this bastard out? And if you are all trying to take him out, WTF?! How come you haven’t been more successful?!

Sunday Morning WTF?! Oscar! Mike! Golf!

06/05/11 08:56 AM

One question: Who gave the Hawaiian CGI operator LSD?

One comment: NSFACCMLW, which stands for “Not Safe for Any Conceivable Context Much Less Work.”

One word of caution: Stay away from everything that happens after the three-minute mark. You don’t want to see it. Seriously. I’m not joking. Don’t watch after the three-minute mark.

One additional comment: I won’t sleep tonight. I watched after the three minute mark.

big beautiful virtual Wendy from wendy Vain on Vimeo.

Sunday Morning WTF?! Literal, But Awesome

05/29/11 08:36 AM

Sure, it’s a little too literal for our weekly Sunday Morning WTF?!, but OK Go’s “WTF?” is still pretty bitchen. OK Go, I don’t know why I like your videos so damned much ... there’s just this thing about cha’.

Sunday Morning WTF?! Let The Tribulations Begin

05/22/11 08:00 AM

They say the Rapture didn’t happen as predicted ... but no one seems to be able to locate Blaming Flips owner Vince Livernois, who as last seen on Rapture Saturday reading a magazine on his porch in Phoenix.

Whiskey! Tango! Foxtrot! Vince?! We Never Thought You Were That Holy!

If anyone has any information about the whereabouts of Vince Livernois, please contact the authorities. And tell him to put some clothes on.

Meanwhile, Detroit Tiger Blood owner Joe Kelley made a trade but asked: “Please only put this trade through if I make it through the Rapture. Thanks.” Joe, you out there? Did you survive the Rapture? Can we process this trade now? I mean, if you’re alive during the tribulations, you’re gonna want Bautista on your roster!

Speaking of tribulations, we always love having a reason to share the music of one of our favorite bands, the now-dufunct LCD Soundsystem. So, enjoy this to kick off your first full day of tribulations:

Sunday Morning WTF?! World's Worst Parents?

05/15/11 07:59 AM

Okay, maybe not the worst parents in the world, but damn, this video is cringe inducing. What, parents, you can’t afford real toys anymore? You gotta let your dog kill your girl’s playthings now? You can afford a video camera ... why not spend a few quarters at the fabric shop and create a nice little homemade doll or something? Sheesh.

And squirrels ... you know they’re just rats with cuter tails, right? That they’re disease-ridden rodents? That they would claw and chew at your thorax if they thought you were in their way of scoring a jar of Planter’s?

Hey, maybe next week you can get video of your sweet darling swimming around in a cesspool. Or maybe you can get video of her playing with used syringes behind the local methadone clinic. I feel like these parents might be trying to earn a special new category for the Darwin Awards whereby they remove their genes from the gene pool by first inadvertently killing their own children. The upside here is that they’ll have this nifty video to show at the award ceremony.

Whiskey? Tango? Foxtrot?, parents! I mean, seriously!

Sunday Morning WTF?! Mother's Day Scooter Dance

05/08/11 09:01 AM

Today’s Sunday Morning WTF?! comes to us from ScootTucky Plow owner Scott “Scoot” Allen, who said that it is a tradition in his country to celebrate Mother’s Day by dancing around a scooter. I didn’t believe him until I dug up this video on the Interwebs. (BTW, Scoot’s the one wearing jorts.)

Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! Seriously, Scoot, WTF?!

Anyway, everyone here at the SLPL Blog wishes all you mothers out there a great Mother’s Day!

Sunday Morning WTF?! Busted Moves, Bodies

05/01/11 08:44 AM

Commissioner Rube Furrow and the Boys get together for a little impromptu roadside dance. These guys are just one busted move a way from three cardiac arrests, two bent spleens, a dislocated shoulder, and a slew of hip and/or knee replacement surgeries.

Whiskey? Tango? Foxtrot? I mean, seriously!

Sunday Morning WTF?! Easter Is Here

04/24/11 08:13 AM

Posted, without comment.

Sunday Morning WTF?! Bibs Aren't Just For Babies

04/17/11 08:39 AM

I don’t have any words because my jaw is on the floor. Where the SlobStopper can’t clean up my drool of horror.

Sunday Morning WTF?! What Might Have Been

04/10/11 09:27 AM

Tip of the ballcap to Detroit Tiger Blood owner Joe Kelly, who passed along this bit of news regarding a recent aeronautic incident that could have cost the lives of four St. Louis Cardinals pitchers all at once. WTF?! As Joe said, “I think this is some sort of sign or warning.” But it did get us here at the Santa Lechuga Power League, who run the only known Creepy Cardinals Pitcher Death Watch Pool, thinking about what might have been had that incident lead to the death of four pitchers in a single incident.

Our First Thoughts

WTF?! I mean, seriously, WTF?! This is a scenario we had simply never considered. In the past, Cardinals pitchers died one at a time, then the organization ghoulishly paraded the jersey of the most recently killed pitcher around the world until the deceased’s jersey logged more airtime on Fox Sports broadcasts than the actual baseball games they were covering. But if four pitchers went down at once? Schmoly! The Cardinals would have to hire a small army of people to carry four jerseys around to all the ballparks. Fox Sports would have to secure extra cameraman just to give each jersey all the coverage it deserved. Baskets of onions would have to be placed in the booth just to make sure Joe Buck generated the requisite number of tears during each game as the camera slowly panned across the four jerseys in between every pitch of the game. When Fox was covering a game that didn’t include the Cardinals (fat chance, that), it would need to keep breaking in to its current broadcast to give viewers an update on where the jerseys were and where they were hanging. Fox Sports St. Louis would have to create a Fox Sports St. Louis 2, a 24-hour station devoted to broadcasting weepy, maudlin memories of all deceased Cardinals pitchers, with special prime-time reports on the most recently deceased.

Our Second Thoughts

The implications on the SLPL are interesting and confusing to consider. Eighteen teams have one of those pitchers on their Death Watch Pool rosters. Given that all four pitchers would have died at the same time, and given that our rule language says the pot will be awarded to the owner “who identifies the next Creepy Cardinal pitcher to die,” we have to assume we would have to split the $800 across those four pitchers, meaning $200 per pitcher. So, four $200 payouts.

Four teams have Mitchell Boggs, which means that the Magic Number comes into play to break the tie. Since the date of hypothetical death was Thursday the 7th, the Magic Number is 7. Of those four Boggs teams, none had the Magic Number 7, so we have to look at the next closest Magic Number. Susie Rochellle, owner of The Insiders, has the Magic Number 13, the closest Magic Number. Since Susie has participated in the Death Pool in at least two consecutive seasons, she would win the entire $200.

Frank Sumrall’s Speaking Frankly would have won the pot for Ryan Franklin with the Magic Number 8, but since this is the first year his team has been in the league, he would only be eligible to win $100.

Of the five teams with Kyle Loshe, Kevin Klinkhamer’s Dongwhipped, with the Magic Number 5, would have won. By participating each season since the genesis of the Death Watch Pool in 2008, Kevin would have been eligible to win the full $200.

Finally, of the five Trever Miller teams, two -- Tucker Vasquez’s 1 Bad Mother Tucker and Ed Gross’ No Yanks Allowed -- had Magic Number 4, the closest to the date of death, which means they would both win $100.

Each of these teams would be available to collect the relevant “bumps,” though none would have qualified. The first potential bump, $50, has to do with the Magic Number matching the date of death. Since none of the winners had Magic Number 7, no bump.

The second bump, the $25 “Kile Bump,” has to do with the death occurring on the day of a scheduled start, before the game. Since this was presumably an off-day for the Cardinals, no bump.

The final bump, the $100 “You Lucky Sonuvabidge Bump,” has do to with dying on the field of play. Since this was an airplane incident, no bump there.

Our Final Thoughts

This has been an interesting thought experiment. Though I cringe in horror at the thought of four pitchers in their prime of their careers dying in an air disaster, the cringe-factor goes exponential when I think of how the Cardinals would endlessly parade those damn jerseys around and when I think about the potential gloopy and maudlin treatment of those deaths by Fox Sports. We are happy the air incident didn’t lead to the deaths of four pitchers, but we’re sickened by what might have been.

Sunday Morning WTF?! Keep It Cool Now Baby

04/03/11 06:42 AM

Rube’s dad, Stu Furrow.

SLPL '11

The Best Damn Fantasy Baseball League in the World (Because We Said It Is!)