Just Cuz

Fantasy Football vs. D&D

10/18/11 07:37 AM

Found this on the Interwebs. Thought it was funny. And too true.

Nice Catch

10/12/11 08:30 AM

Smooth as silk. But how does the guy seated to the right of popcorn guy escape comment? That’s right there is some bad seriously bad hair.

The Minutes Feel Like Seconds

09/23/11 11:14 AM

It’s Friday, which means we have this to look forward to:

Slight Overreaction

09/17/11 08:37 AM

This guy’s got a short fuse, sure, but maybe he could do something to help the poor sea lion that’s about to get eaten by the polar bear in yesterday’s entry.

Uh Oh...

09/16/11 09:20 AM

I have the feeling this isn’t going to end well. Unless you’re the polar bear.

Gonna Knock You Off Your Feet

09/14/11 08:57 AM

Instant karma is a bitch.

Little Mary = Dolphins Defense

09/13/11 08:27 AM

If the season my Pepino Monos are having can aptly be described in a music video as “kinda outta luck,” as discussed yesterday, then the game the Miami Dolphins defense had yesterday against Tom Brady is perfectly described by Little Mary in this home video:

"Kinda Outta Luck" By Lana Del Rey

09/12/11 08:37 AM

“Flat out of luck” perfectly defines the season my Pepino Mono’s had. Or, should I say, every season my Monos have had?

Adam Done…Baseball Participant

08/20/11 09:13 AM

Raiding This Is Gonna Get Uggla owner Sue Klinkhamer’s Facebook posts for today’s entry … this is a thing of beauty.

Many Thanks

08/19/11 09:01 AM

The SLPL Blog thanks you all for the many kind words following yesterday’s tribute to our mother, Barbara Jeanne Livernois. We heard from you via Facebook, via blog comments, via e-mail, and via the old-school telephone. All of your good thoughts are really appreciated.

Hoping that he doesn’t mind that I share this, the following came to us via e-mail from Full Circuits owner Bill Cunning. It is representative of the types of messages we have been receiving, all of which provide great comfort during this rocky time:

I was very sorry to read about your Mom passing and wanted to acknowledge my recollection of her as being a very fine human being. As you probably know, I grew up with your cousin, Jim Cummings, and as such, was privileged to be accepted as part of his household. During the early years, I remember your Dad and Mom visiting Jim's Mom, who was very special, and recall fondly how they all interacted with each other and the pleasant aura that they all shared. My sincere condolences on her passing and extend my best wishes to you and all members of your families.

For fun, I’m resurrecting a video from earlier this year announcing the ’11 season of the SLPL. I provide it here because it prominently features the one-and-only Bobblehead-of-Lettuce, Babs’ enduring contribution to the league. Enjoy.

Finally, here’s a picture of Babs with league Commissioner Rube Furrow, taken years ago, just before Rube’s country music career petered out because he was too proud to play Kenny Rogers cover songs.

Barbara Jeanne Livernois, 1930-2011

08/18/11 08:47 AM

The woman responsible for bringing into the world the knuckleheads who created this dopey little league has passed on to the Great Fantasy Baseball League In the Sky. (Though, if heaven matches the person, she has passed to the Great Kitty Haven In the Sky.) Barbara Jeanne Livernois, mother to six children, grandmother to a herd of grandchildren, and great-grandmother to a few great-grandchildren, died yesterday in Brawley, CA, at the age of 80.

While raising a gaggle of kids perpetually on the verge of a MacGruber moment, Babs worked various and sundry full-time gigs at various and sundry places, including St. Mary’s Catholic School, Central Union High School, Imperial Valley College, Coca-Cola bottling, and El Centro Community Hospital. Somehow, she always found time to attend all her kids’ sporting events and even found time to create and create and create in various side hobbies such as stained glass, painting, knitting, etc; she always seemed to have a project going. Barbara was also a lover of pets, using her home at various times to host dogs, cats, turtles, a duck, rabbits, fish, sheep, neighborhood kids, and other animals. On top of all that, she was a voracious reader.

Barbara is known to Santa Lechuga Power League owners as a past co-owner of an early league team. But she is best known to SLPL aficionados as the creator of the first and only real, actual, manifest Bobblehead-of-Lettuce, which sits proudly on the bar of league Vice President Pedregoso Rios.

To Barbara Jeanne Livernois, our mom, our grandmother, our great-grandmother, our fellow-SLPL owner, maker of the Bobblehead-of-Lettuce, all-round remarkable woman: We love you and miss you. You will forever be in our hearts.

Just Pure Clever

08/17/11 08:15 AM

I simply love this.

From Bad To OH HOLY HELL!!!

08/16/11 07:52 AM

While exchanging insurance information following their minor bender bender, Steve, Nate, and their passengers were OH HOLY HELL!!! RUN!!!

Cruel, Cruel Prank

08/15/11 07:44 AM

Seems obvious, sure, but how can you anticipate such things when you’re splayed out on a couch trying to catch some quick Zs?

Riddance Of The Good Variety

08/13/11 09:13 AM

Head cases like this are just dumb enough to leave $24 million out of the pockets of their heirs. What a knucklehead.

[Insert Any Person On Earth Here] Tribute

08/12/11 09:25 AM

Former SLPL owner Megan Pierce passed this video along, thinking we might get a blog post out of it. And she’s right. We love Ron Santo, especially after seeing his son’s documentary about him, and we’re glad to link to the Chicago Tribune’s tribute video (though we wish the Trib would allow you to embed the video).

The only issue with this video is that it would have been just as moving if they had used old-timey video and various sound clips of any person on Earth against this Van Morrison song. Seriously. Close your eyes while that song plays and try to imagine any person -- saint or serial murderer, jet-setting rich guy or fly-infested, stomach-distended poor girl in Africa, should-be Hall-of-Fame baseball player or actual Hopscotch Champion at Mt. Clarissa’s Elementary School -- and tell me it wouldn’t be just as emotional. I’m not saying. I’m just saying.

(Speaking of Ron Santo’s son, remind me to tell you the story about how I got into an argument with him after he premiered his film in St. Charles, IL. Only someone in the front office of the SLPL could get into an argument with a guy on the day he premiers his movie to rave reviews. I’m not saying. I’m just saying.)

Mad Crazy Tray Skillz

08/11/11 07:21 AM

This guy has mad-crazy tray skillz.

Donate Your Old Glasses To MLB Umpires

08/09/11 08:04 AM

I love whoever did this.

We're Back

08/08/11 08:59 AM

We’re back. After a rousing, hot, wet, rocking three days, the SLPL blog is back in business until, well, the next time we decide to have a rousing, wet, rocking three days. My dogs are tired, my ears are still humming, and my shoes will undoubtedly squish for another week or so. But, damn. It was a fine time.

On the drive home last night, we had to agree that The Joy Formidable was one of our favorite new live bands. Damned impressive for a three-piece unit. It will be fun to see if their recorded stuff measures up.

Michael Bolton's Winning Softball

08/04/11 07:38 AM

My life just became a lot less worth living.

MICHAEL BOLTON SOFTBALL	UCBcomedy.com

Watch more comedy videos from the twisted minds of the UCB Theatre at UCBcomedy.com

Hollywood Directors Should Take Note

08/03/11 08:39 AM

This commercial out of Thailand packs more into it in three minutes than the dreck known as summer blockbusters.

I Don't Get The Human Race Sometimes

08/02/11 08:41 AM

Really? We’re massaging dogs now?!

I Want The Throw Rug

08/01/11 09:28 AM

This dog knows how it’s done.

Puke My Guts Up, Part 2

07/30/11 07:05 AM

For crap’s sake. We’re raising a nation of crybabies!

I'm Seeing This Everywhere ... And I Wanna Puke

07/29/11 09:54 AM

This makes me want to puke my guts up. Yo, Ian, this is the Grand Ol’ U, S of A! This is a capitalistic society! You get yours while others can suck it up and figure out how to get their own. Seriously, go move to a socialist country or something and get the hell out of my country. You’re giving all the stupid people -- like that crybaby kid who wasn’t smart enough to put his hat out like you did -- the idea that you will be rewarded if you fail. And those announcers make me want to grow new guts so I can vomit those up, too. These people make me sick.

Dogfight, Part 4

07/28/11 08:56 AM

With the humans eliminated without a single win, the dogs move to the second round to face the cats. The cats appear to have the upper paw.

Speaking of Dogfights, Part 3

07/26/11 08:57 AM

Though we admittedly didn’t put our best fighter out there for this cage match, it’s getting depressing watching all these humans go down.

Speaking Of Dogfights, Again...

07/25/11 08:33 AM

Though this appears to be more of a prank than a fight, the humans lose yet another round.

Speaking Of Dogfights...

07/23/11 09:35 AM

The humans lose this round.

Nice Try, Phanatic

07/20/11 08:14 AM

I see what he was trying to do there.

Lazy Weekend At The SLPL Blog

07/16/11 07:37 AM

It’s a lazy weekend here at the SLPL Blog. I’m posting light again today and won’t post at all tomorrow. Though standings and stats are updated today, there will be no standings or stats updated again until Monday. We’re headed to Chicago today to explore more of that great city and tomorrow we’re going to the Pitchfork Music Festival. I hope you enjoy your weekend, too!

The Cat Has Better Ninja Skills

07/15/11 09:29 AM

Check out this cat’s mad-awesome Ninja skills:

Pure Cruelty

07/06/11 08:05 AM

This is just cruel.

Not The Tortoise And The Hare...

06/27/11 08:12 AM

...but the tortoise and the African grey parrot. Doesn’t turn out so well for the tortoise this time.

I Don't Think Raila Knows Who I Really Am

06/16/11 09:09 AM

I miss Norman! But I promise I’ll put his money to good use.

Here, Kitty, Kitty

06/15/11 08:03 AM

Safe!

Champaign Videos, Please Don't Exist

06/13/11 09:24 AM

You know how we post videos of really drunk people trying to walk from here to there, barely able to stay upright, falling down stairs, that sort of thing? And then we speculate that perhaps it was Rube Furrow or Pedregoso Rios who was trying to stay upright? It’s all in good fun.

Yeah. Well.

I’m just saying that if anyone accidentally comes across any such videos originating from Champaign, IL., this past Saturday night, there’s better than a 90 percent chance that the drunk person was indeed me. That would have been towards the end of former owner Josh “Scrapes” Walker’s bachelor party, which was a 12-hour affair set in five or six different locations. (Don’t ask me to be specific.) My fellow participants tell me it was fun.

Groom-to-Be Josh and Best Man Tony

In unrelated news, this happened, which does my heart good:

Truckin'

06/08/11 07:51 AM

There are tow trucks, and then there are ...

This (Fantasy Team) Or That (Drunken Marvel)?

06/06/11 08:27 AM

Trying to figure out what we wanted to post here today, we came across this: SportsPop: A Realistic View Of A Fictional Fantasy Baseball Team. It seemed like a no brainer that we would post this. It’s about baseball. It’s about fantasy baseball. It’s about how fantasy baseball collides with out cultural landscape. And it allows us to restate our longstanding complaint that any fantasy baseball roster made up of fictional characters that does not feature Crash Davis is a complete waste of time.

But then we came across this: “Elgin Woman Charged with Sixth DUI Comes to Court Drunk, Authorities Say.” This one wasn’t as obvious for posting since, for those of us who operate the SLPL Blog, drunk is our new sober. Sober is what’s discombobulating. Sober is our new drunk. We can’t handle sober. To have arrived at the courthouse for our sixth DUI sober would have been news. So we weren’t going to post this story ... until we came across this line: “She received two DUI convictions in 1999 for separate offenses that occurred on the same day.” Regardless of our perpetually high blood alcohol levels -- just to give you a sense of proportion, we call them “alcohol blood levels” -- not one of us here at the SLPL Blog has the nads nor the dimwittedness required to get behind the wheel within 24 hours after receiving a DUI arrest. I mean, really, this lady’s a drunken marvel.

So, what to post on the blog? Dis aceball dorey or dat dunkem one? Oh, darnit ... we muth bee thober aggin.

I Won't Sleep Tonight

06/04/11 08:57 AM

Creepy.

About What You'd Expect From A Dodgers Fan

06/02/11 08:58 AM

This is what a Dodgers fan does to his Dodgers-fan daughter? It’s a good things she’s not a Giants fan, I suppose.

Disaster: The Photo Shows It All

06/01/11 07:23 AM

Tip of the ballcap to Tom Van Baren, second year owner of Should'a Been Umps, who forwarded this e-mail to us a while back. Thanks, Tom!

Disaster: This Amazing Photo Shows The Details
The pilot at low level had no control over his aircraft. It narrowly misses a crowd gathered for the air show and slams into four buildings.
One can only imagine the horror of the occupants inside those buildings.

Probably scared the sh*t out of them!

Tuneage To Kick Off A Tuesday-That-Feels-Like-Monday

05/31/11 08:24 AM

Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer has been a longtime friend and contributor to the SLPL blog, but he’s also been one of those dudes with whom we like to share new music. After posting OK Go!’s “WTF?” Sunday, Kevin reported that it was in instant purchase at his favorite locale for musical downloads ... then he shared this sweet little tune with us:

Though slower, parts of “Pumped Up Kicks” remind us of another fave Kevin turned us on to a few years ago, which is just pure ear candy:

Happy Tuesday-That-Feels-Like-Monday!

Memorial Day

05/30/11 08:51 AM

Not a video ... just a song ... one that came to mind this morning for some reason as I thought about Memorial Day.

I hope you enjoy your Memorial Day.

Don't Worry. It's Not The End Of The World

05/21/11 08:07 AM

It’s Rapture Saturday! ... and Harold Camping’s predictions will soon inevitably lead to a load of backpedaling. Here are some of our SLPL owners’s best comments related to the rapture:

”Rapture this weekend! If you are rapture-ready but haven't yet completed your will, you really should get it done today. Feel free to leave me everything; I promise to take care of it 'til the end of time.” ~Tony Livernois
”If you can't come up with a good rapture joke, don't worry. It’s not the end of the world.” ~Vince Livernois
”Idea for the upcoming raputre: 1. Gather rapture believing Christian friends. 2. Tie a 100 ft long rope to their foot. 3. Tie the other end to a stake in the ground. 4. Wait for the rapture. 5. Enjoy Christian Balloons.” ~Kevin Klinkhamer
”Kevin...I thought you were going to tie that rope to your own leg to surprise the heaven intake angel. But your ending ...WOW!” ~Suzie Rochellle
”And with the first overall pick of the 2011 Rapture Draft, Yahweh takes ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage. That's a solid pick, Hub.” ~Tony Livernois
”And you already know you are all going to hell. xoxo” ~Sue Klinkhamer
”I don't need Rev. Camping to tell me I'm in hell! (Yes, I am inEl Centro again!)” ~Suzie Rochellle
”Turns out, Rev. Camping simply had a rupture. Bad spleen.” ~Joe Livernois

Joe Kelley shares this photo and poses the question: “What to do on Rapture Day?”

Finally, I found this fun little video made by Some Grey Bloke that provides useful tips and hints for approaching the Rapture:

Enjoy the Rapture!

The Rumors ... Don't Believe 'Em

05/03/11 08:22 AM

There’s no truth to the rumor, despite known ties to Osama bin Laden and al Queda, that several Bobbleheads-of-Lettuce were found in the compound by the Navy Seals. For the record, it was just one Bobblehead-of-Lettuce.

So. Yeah. That Happened.

05/02/11 07:27 AM

Just because we love good snark:

nLv4k

And tip of the ballcap to league friend Missy, who posted this up to her Facebook page:

That is all.

Darn Kid! That'll Teach Ya'!

04/30/11 08:52 AM

No need for commentary. Just watch it again and again and again.

Real-Life Frogger!

04/18/11 08:07 AM

SLPL '11

The Best Damn Fantasy Baseball League in the World (Because We Said It Is!)